Changed My Mind About Defying 40


I have changed my mind. I’m not throwing a concert-party when I turn forty, after all.

I posted twice about my grand plans for a showcase of talents here and my own playlist here. But since then, so many things have happened that have convinced me that I do not have the amount of energy for an event of such proportions that my wild imagination invented. It was easy to conceptualize when I was in Sydney; but being back in Manila, I had to face the reality of turning 40.

My friends are really busy. My health commands my attention. I can embrace the gift of life in solitude and in simplicity. There are things to do and I have to conserve resources for what are truly important in life.

I still want to defy 40, but I guess I’ll just limit it to not looking my age. I am grateful for my genes because this healthy, Asian skin is not prone to wrinkles. So I look maybe about 26. 🙂

Definitely, there will be some food, some drinks, my real friends, and my family. That should be enough.

All right, let’s do this, July!

 

Luha at Tamis (Huling Yugto ng Housewife Series)


Ang huling kabanata sa kwento nina Sheryl at Julius. Para sa nakaraan, pakibasa po lamang ang Kwentong Housewife (Daw) sa pamamagitan ng link sa itaas.

VI.  Luha at Tamis

Magandang umaga!” bati ni Julius kay Sheryl, sabay alok ng kape na siya mismo ang nag-brew. Tutulong sanang maghanda ng almusal si Sheryl pero nakahain na ang mga yaya ng mga anak ni Joanne paglabas niya sa kuwarto.  Maaga talaga nagigising ang household pag may bata.

Huwag kaya tayo dito mag-breakfast?” tanong ni Julius.

Puyat at hindi pa masyadong gising si Sheryl, pero sulit naman ang sakit ng ulong dinaranas niya ngayon. Napalapit siya nang husto sa mga kaibigan ni Julius, at natuwa rin siya sa mas malalim na pagkakakilala niya rito dahil sa kanila.

Saan tayo pupunta?” tanong ni Sheryl, sabay tanggap sa mug ng kape na inihanda ni Julius. Nag-kiss sa kanya si Julius sa noo. “At nasaan silang lahat?

Yung mga hindi talaga tagarito, alam mo namang unti-unting nagsiuwian na mula pagsikat ng araw. Sina Alex at Joanne, ipinasyal na ang mga bata. Nagtatatalo sila paglabas dito kung sa park o sa swimming o sa horseback riding o sa McDonald’s sila pupunta.”

Hirap talaga ng may anak,” sabi ni Sheryl. Kung siya, limang oras lang ang tulog na putol-putol pa dahil sa labas-masok ng mga roommates niya, malamang, yung mag-asawa, halos wala pa dahil sila ang hosts kagabi, pero kailangang pagbigyan ang lakad na talaga namang pinlano at inilaan para sa mga bata.

Ano, ready ka na bang umalis? O kung gusto mo light breakfast muna tayo dito, tapos magsimba tayo, tapos lunch sa Tagaytay?” Kanina pa gising si Julius at nagpaplano ng kanilang araw. Sa sala kasi nagsiksikan ang mga kalalakihan kaya walang may matinong tulog sa kanila. Ang mga misis at si Sheryl, nagkasya sa mga kwarto. Pero isa-isa na ring nagpaalam ang mga barkada dahil karamihan sa kanila, kagabi pa dapat umuwi.

Maganda yata yung almusal-simba-lunch na plano. Aabot tayo sa 10 a.m. mass, bibilisan ko lang mag-pack,” sagot ni Sheryl. Naka-shower naman na siya. Aba’y hindi siya magpapakita kay Julius ng bagong-gising look kaya siniguro niyang bago siya bumaba sa kusina ay ayos na siya.

Masarap ba ‘yung kape? Batangas brew ‘yan,” kwento ni Julius.

 

Actually parang matapang siya kesa sa usual na iniinom ko, pero tama lang ito para magising.”

Wala ka bang hangover? May Berocca rito, iniwan ni Ria para sa iyo.

Ayun, parang kailangan ko ‘yan…” bago pa makakuha ng basong may tubig si Sheryl para sa Berocca, nagawa na ito ni Julius. Pinanood nila ang tablet na mag-fizz sa tubig.

Ang thoughtful naman ni Ria. Actually, aside from Joanne, parang siya ang pinaka-makakasundo ko sa barkada mo. Although mabait naman lahat. Natuwa rin ako dun sa abogada, pinagtanggol ka.

Natuwa rin silang lahat sa iyo,” maingat na sabi ni Julius. Bigla lang siyang nag-flashback sa nangyari dati, nung nakasundo ng barkada ang dating girlfriend niyang doktora at makipag-break siya, hindi niya maintindihan bakit may opinion sila. Apektado lahat. Sana naman hindi mangyari iyon with Sheryl. Not that may  balak siyang makipag-break kay Sheryl. Ni hindi pa nga sila. Yata.

Sana nga makita ko sila ulit.” Na-conscious si Sheryl sa sagot niya kasi parang nagpapa-imbitang ewan siya sa lakad ng barkada. Pinansin na lang niya ang nakahain sa lamesa. “Grabe naman ito, parang hotel breakfast. May pancakes, may toast, may fruits, may yogurt. Pero ang pinakamasarap, yung kape!

Siyempre, guwapo ang nagtimpla eh. Pero gusto ko ng kanin. Di bale mamayang lunch na lang natin. With bulalo at tawilis!

Pag nagpupunta ang barkada ni Sheryl sa Tagaytay, palibhasa all girls dahil hindi usually isinasama ang mga asawa’t anak ng mga kaibigan niya, hindi sila sa bulalohan kumakain kundi sa mga out-of-the-way na restaurants na Western food ang inihahanda, o kaya sa mga bed-and-breakfast na may kasamang spa. Mahina siya sa kanin pero masarap sigurong panoorin kumain nang marami si Julius.

Unless gusto mo sa mga date places dito, yung may mga steak at kailangang magpa-reserve,” sabi ni Julius, na nabasa na naman ang iniisip ni Sheryl.

Hindi ah, ano’ng akala mo sakin, sosyal? Punta tayo sa bulalo restaurant na may view ng Taal volcano, na may kumakanta, ok sakin yun,” excited na sagot ni Sheryl. Kahit sa carinderia pa sila kumain ni Julius ngayong araw na ito, happy pa rin siya!

O sige, aayusin ko na ang kotse ha, ilabas mo na lang ang mga gamit mong ilo-load ko sa trunk.

What a difference a night with his friends makes. Nawala ang awkwardness, ang new-coupleness, nila. Natural lang na magplano ang isa, sumang-ayon ang isa, mag-suggest, mag-usap. Magaan at masaya ang umagang iyon.

Late sila nang konti dumating sa misa dahil dumaan pa sa park para magpaalam kina Alex at Joanne. Sa likod sila ng simbahan nakaupo. Naalala ni Sheryl na kagabi lang, nagdadrama siya sa kasal dahil sa pagsisikip ng dibdib niya sa pag-uusap nila ni Julius sa biyahe. Ngayon, wala na yung mga emote niya.

Nagsisimba si Julius. Yun na ang pogi points sa lahat ng pogi points. Ipinagdasal niya ang araw na iyon at lahat pang mga darating na araw. Hiniling niyang matuto siyang mag-dahan-dahan sa pakikipag-relate kay Julius.

Pagdating sa restaurant, nakakuha sila ng sariling kubong maganda ang view ng Taal Lake. Wala nang hiya-hiya si Sheryl, masarap nga ang bulalo at mainit na kanin at bagay sa tawilis na in-order ni Julius. Uminom pa sila ng buco juice. Kinantahan din sila ng roving singers ng restaurant. Aegis ang banat.

Mahal na Mahal Kita by Aegis

Hindi kita puwedeng iwanan

Hindi kita puwedeng pigilan

Ipaglalaban kita

Kahit hanggang kamatayan man

 

Kung mawawalaya sa iyo

Huwag kang mag-alala’t babalik ako

Para ipagpatuloy natin ang ating pag-ibig

Na aking iniwanan sa ‘yo

 

Chorus:

Mahal na mahal kita dito sa aking puso

Ikaw lang nag-iisa, o aking mahal

Mahal na mahal kita dito sa aking puso

Ikaw lang nag-iisa, o aking mahal

 

Mahalin mo lang ako nang tapat

Mamahalin din kita nang tapat

Kahit anong pagsubok dumating

Ipangako mo rin, ipaglalaban natin

Kilala mo ang Aegis?” amused na tanong ni Julius habang pinapanood si Sheryl na sumasabay sa banda.

Oo naman! May Pilipino bang hindi nakakakilala sa kanila? ‘Luha’ at ‘Basang-Basa sa Ulan,’ at oh my gosh, yung ‘Halik,’ sobrang winner yung kantang yun.

Pwede ba yung ‘Halik?’” tanong ni Julius sa lead singer ng munting bandang nakatapat sa mesa nila.

Ano?” patawang tanong ni Sheryl. Hmm sexy ang lead singer, at nakatingin si Julius, ano kaya kung buhusan nya ng mainit na sabaw ng bulalo….

Ibig kong sabihin, kung pwede nilang kantahin yung paborito mo,” sagot ni Julius na ibinaling kaagad ang tingin sabay hawak sa kamay ni Sheryl. Marunong siyang mag-shift ng eksena.

Hindi ko naman favourite yun, pang-sawi iyon eh. Wala akong ganung angst ngayon,” sabi ni Sheryl, na ayaw na bumitaw kay Julius. Kahit hindi na siya makakain at mag-sebo na ang bulalo.

Ay ano na lang po ang request niyo, ma’am?” tanong ng lead singer na naka-skinny jeans.

 

“O baka po may theme song kayo, ma’am, ser,” ang dagdag pa ng gitarista.

Isa ngang makabagbag-damdaming ‘Hawak Kamay’ diyan,” request ni Julius, sabay kindat kay Sheryl.

Hawak Kamay ni Yeng Constantino

Minsan madarama mo kay bigat ng problema

Minsan mahihirapan ka at masasabing “di ko makakaya”

Tumingin ka lang sa langit

Baka sakaling may masumpungan

Di kaya ako’y tawagin

Malalaman mong kahit kailan

 

Chorus

Hawak-kamay

Di kita iiwan sa paglakbay

Dito sa mundong walang katiyakan

Hawak-kamay

Di kita bibitawan sa paglalakbay

Sa mundo ng kawalan

 

Minsan madarama mo

Ang mundo’y gumuho sa ilalim ng iyong mga paa

At ang agos ng problema’y tinatangay ka

Tumingin ka lang sa langit

Baka sakaling may masumpungan

Di kaya ako’y tawagin

Malalaman mong kahit kailan

 

Sumabay pa si Sheryl sa chorus at sa bridge siya na ang kumanta:

 

Wag mong sabihin nag-iisa ka

Laging isipin meron kang kasama

Narito ako oh, Narito ako…

 

Natuwa pati mga katabing mesa sa performance. Palakpakan ang lahat. Matapos niyang abutan ng tip, nagpakuha ng picture nila ni Sheryl si Julius sa gitarista.

Bagay po kayo, ma’am, ser, parang in-love na in-love ang aura niyo” sabi nito. Nagpasalamat ang dalawa.

Pag-alis, sabi ni Sheryl, “Ooh, malay natin may powers pala si Kuya. Nakita niya ang aura natin eh!

“Hindi masyadong kuya si Kuya,” paliwanag ni Julius. “Napansin mo ang pilantik ng daliri?

At come to think of it, malagkit nga ang tingin sa iyo,” dagdag na puna ni Sheryl, na natatawa lang. Kailangang masanay na kung si Julius ang ka-date, maraming nakatingin dito. Pwes, hanggang tingin lang naman sila.

Julius…

Yes, Sheryl?”

Paano naging ‘Hawak Kamay’ ang theme song natin?

Di naman official iyon. Nagkataon lang. May alam akong mas bagay sa atin.”

Ano?”

“’Init sa Magdamag,’ alam mo yun ‘no?”

Nonoy Zuñiga at Sharon Cuneta! At hindi bagay sa atin ‘yon!”

Ano ka, sakto kaya ‘yun sa atin. Kantahin mo nga ang chorus.”

Kung langit sa atin ay ipagkait,

Dito sa piling mo’y muling makakamit.

Walang hanggang pag-ibig na may luha at tamis,

Nasa’n ka pagsaluhan natin ang init sa magdamag.…”

Sumabay si Julius sa pagkanta, at nag-blend kaagad ang mga boses nila. Parang pinraktis na nang maraming beses. Pero mahina lang ang kanta nila at baka marinig ng mga nasa kabilang kubo.

O diba, sa sandaling pagkakakilala natin, may luha at tamis na, pero may langit din…”

Loko. Gusto ko pang makarating sa totoong langit...”

Sheryl…”

Yes, Julius?”

E kung, next week na tayo umuwi?”

Nangangarap ka nang gising?” Sumandal siya kay Julius habang nakatanaw sa bulkang Taal.

Oo tingnan mo, naplano ko na. Ang dami nating pwedeng gawin. Tomorrow, gawin natin yung Taal Volcano trek. Sa Tuesday, magpapa-spa tayo maghapon, the works! Uuy, alam kong gusto mo yun. Kasi mapapagod tayo sa trek kaya kailangan ng massage pagkatapos….”

 

“Actually gusto ko rin ng foot spa at facial…” Sumali na rin sa pangangarap si Sheryl.  Julius was gently stroking her hair while talking dreamily and staring into the “Island within a Lake on an Island within a Lake on an Island.”

“Kita mo na? I’m starting to make sense diba. Then, sa Wednesday, rent tayo ng boat sa Taal Lake Yacht Club. Sa Thursday, maghahanap tayo ng kakilalang magpapapasok sa atin sa Tagaytay Highlands, kahit overnight na tayo doon. Sa Friday ng gabi, sakay tayo sa malaking ferris wheel aka ‘Sky Eye.’  Hindi ka mukhang nagca-casino so we can skip that. Sa Saturday pwede tayong mag-day of prayer o mini-retreat. Diba? Muntik na nating maaabot ang langit nun!!!”

Dami mo namang plano.”

Gano’n talaga. Nakakapagod kayang puro trabaho lang.”

Pero Julius, may pasok tayo bukas.”

Pwede namang mag-leave!”
Agad-agad? Hindi ka naman demanding. Kailangan sa amin months in advance ang paalam lalo na kung more than 3 days na VL.”

Karapatan ng manggagagawa ang VL.”

Iga-grant naman, pero di lang pwede short notice.”

Ayaw mo yata akong kasama eh.”

Hello! Ang drama. Gusto na nga kitang papirmahin ng kontrata e.”

Ay dapat kagabi pa, nung andito si Adora, at nang ma-review muna niya. Teka, anong kontrata?”

Huminga nang malalim si Sheryl.

Yung ex ko kasi.” Tiningnan niya si Julius. Hindi naman bumitaw sa kanya. “Punung-puno ng pangarap at plano iyon. Tatanda raw kami together. Iikutin daw namin ang mundo together. E hindi pa nga tapos ng college, hindi na kami together!”

Ano’ng nangyari, bakit kayo nag-break?”

Nag-cross enroll siya sa UP Baguio isang summer. Artist e. Pagbalik ng June, may ibang girlfriend na, pero di ko pa alam, so pinagsabay kami. By September, nabuntis na niya, so nalaman ko rin. By December kasal na sila.”

Parang may nagliwanag sa isip ni Julius. “Ahh, kaya pala ayaw mo na nang paliguy-ligoy, sigurista ka na ngayon. Kaya yung listahan mo diretso sa kung ano hinahanap mo sa asawa at sinasabi mo agad na pang-housewife ka.”

Tumango si Sheryl. “Ayoko na kasi ng bolahan. First love ko yun e, high school sweethearts kami. Sabi ng lahat, bagay kami, at nadaan ako sa lakas mambola, galing manligaw. Kahit maraming ibang kaklase kong umaaligid, siya sinagot ko. Ang tiyaga-tiyaga niya noong bago pa lang kami.”

Naka-ilang boyfriend ka pa after him?”

Wala, siya yung last. Traumatic for me, e.  It was so hard to trust men after that. It took me years to get over him.”

Whoa. Ang tagal na no’n a.”

Kaya nga Julius, I’m not wired for casual dating. Siguro naman by now, I’ve made that clear.”

Crystal clear.  Hindi nga lang ako makapaniwala. Sa ganda mong yan, as in wala talagang sumunod after college?”

Merong pailan-ilang dates, pero hindi nag-work out. May officemates na laging bumubuntot pero hanggang di nagsasabi nang intensiyon, friends lang sila for me. Meron doctor, best friend ng isang kuya ko, gusto ko na sana, nag-abroad naman para mag-further studies. Hanggang napagod na akong mag-date, naging busy na ako sa work, at nahirapan na rin ang friends ko hanapan ako ng ise-setup with kasi ang pili-pili ko na raw.”

E anong sabi mo sa friends mo nung na-meet mo ako?”

Alam mo, fishing ka!” Sabi ni Sheryl sabay tayo. “Punta muna akong restroom.”

Pagbalik niya, sabi ni Julius, “May missed calls ka ulit.”

Hay, ang Mom ko, at sina Pauline. You haven’t met my friends, we have to schedule that.”

Papuntahin mo sila rito sa Tagaytay, our kingdom for a week,” sabi ni Julius sabay akbay kay Sheryl.

Uuwi tayo tonight diba, Julius?”

Iisipin ko pa. Hindi ako takot sa Tatay mo, ha kala mo ba,” pabirong hirit ni Julius. Nothing could be further from the truth.

E sa mga kuya ko? Bullies ko sila nung maliliit pa kami pero nung lumaki na ako  bumait na sila sa akin.  They wanted to pay Darwin a visit, yung ex ko, after they found out what happened. Full force, and some of them are taekwondo black belters. Kaso pinigilan sila ng Daddy. Ang sabi, buntis na ang babae, hayaan na nilang pangatawanan ni Darwin ang ginawa niya, di na nga lang siya makakalapit o tawag sa akin ever.”

How did you take it?”

Hindi ko kinaya. Nagbakasyon ako sa Tita ko sa London that Christmas. Winter kung winter. Tinapos ko lang last year ko sa UP nang parang nanaginip, then balik sa London, this time with my parents. Natakot yata silang saktan ko sarili ko, kasi sobrang depressed ako nun e.”

Sana pala sa UP ako nag-aral, o kaya nakilala kita noon pa. I could have saved you from heartache.”

Mga hirit nito! Baka ikaw ang nag-cause ng heartache. Atsaka ang layo kaya ng Mapua, feeling ko lang hindi ka magtitiyagang dumalaw nang madalas.”

Uuy, nag-research, alam kung saan ako nag-college.”

TseAng feeling mo talaga!

Lipat tayo sa Bag of Beans, kape at masarap na bread.”

Sure. Hindi ko na lang iisipin bakit mo kabisado ang Tagaytay, kung ilang girls na ang inilibot mo rito.”

Madalas ako rito for work. Minsan, sinasama ko mga kapatid ko, parents ko, tsaka pamangkin ko.”

Paglipat nila sa Bag of Beans, mas intimate na ang ambience. Naisip ni Julius na mag-confess.

I think I have to tell you something.”

Ano? Don’t tell me you’re married. Or may anak ka na…” Huwag po, huwag po naman sana, panalangin ni Sheryl.

Wala pa, that’s just your trauma talking.”

E kasi naman mga intro mo nakakakaba.”

Here goes. Naalala mo ba yung first date natin?”

Sa tingin mo makakalimutan ko yun?” Makasaysayan kaya ‘yun. Napangiti si Sheryl.

Haha. Meron ka kasing text message…”

Hindi pa tapos si Julius, natigilan na si Sheryl. Napawi ang ngiti sa mukha niya. Text message. Isa lang ang sinend niya, sa place ni Julius yun. She texted her friends. Hindi yata’t…

Na-include mo ako sa recipients,” simpleng dagdag ni Julius.

Maraming four-letter words na nagsigawan sa kalooban ni Sheryl. Buti napigilan niyang sabihin ang mga ito out loud. Oh no!!!

Nakangiti si Julius. Lumipat sa tabi ni Sheryl. Tumalikod si Sheryl, burying her face in her hands. Gusto na niyang mamatay sa hiya.

Hey, I’m still here, diba?”

Tinanggal ni Sheryl ang mga kamay niya mula sa mukha at nakuha niyang maggalit-galitan para itago ang matinding kahihiyan.

Bakit ngayon mo lang sinabi? I made a fool of myself!”

Kakakilala pa lang natin nun, paano ko naman sasabihin. Naisip ko rin, first impression lang ‘yun, lilipas din.”

Sinabi ni Sheryl sa text na iyon na nahanap na niya ang The One. Kung nabasa ni Julius iyon, dapat nagpakalayu-layo na ito sa kanya. Pero hindi naglaho si Julius. Oo nga pala, mga isang linggo lang.

Kaya pala naghintay ka ng 1 week bago tumawag ulit. Pinalipas mo ang kagagagahan ko.”

Hindi naman. I checked myself also kung ano ba intensyon ko sa iyo. Klaro kasi na pangmatagalan ka, hindi lang pampamilya, pang-sports pa.” Ang mga jokes ng dalawang ito, pang ‘80s kids talaga.

Pwede ko bang tanungin ano intensyon mo sa akin? Don’t freak out, okay?” Marahang tanong ni Sheryl. Tuwing napupunta kasi sa seryoso ang usapan, parang luha at pait ang napapala niya.

Sher, right now, ito lang masasabi ko, I’m crazy over you. I want to get to know you more. Wala akong powers para malaman, o ma-assure ka, what tomorrow brings. Except na gusto ko talagang kasama pa rin kita bukas, at sa isang bukas, at sa isa pang bukas….”

Luha. Tutulo na ang luha ni Sheryl. Naalala niya ang acting workshop na pinasukan niya dati, sabi tumingala para bumalik ang luha, tapos pagbaba ng mata, sabay ngiti. So ginawa niya ito. Effective.

Julius, what are you saying?” Nagniningning ang mga mata ni Sheryl sa hindi tumulong tears of joy.

Kung may audition, mag-au-audition ako. Kung may pila pipila ako. Kung…

Shh…” sabi ni Sheryl. “Lika nga rito,”

Lumapit pa nang husto si Julius sa kanya. Inilagay naman ni Sheryl ang chin niya sa shoulder ni Julius sabay sabing, “Selfie muna tayo.”

Ha?” Gulat na gulat si Julius.

Gusto kong maalala ang moment na ito forever and ever. Smile!” Click. “And you bet I will upload this. Out na tayo.”

So Sheryl, kung out na tayo, ibig sabihin tayo na? We are official?”

Well, kung susundin ko ang rules ko, hanggang hindi ka nagsasabi ng I Love You, at hindi kita sinasagot, hindi pa tayo.

E kung hindi natin sundin ang rules mo?

Pwede rin naman, kung bigla mo akong i-kiss, malilimutan ko ang rules na ‘yon.”

Dito mo gusto ng halik, sa Bag of Beans? Sa harap ng maraming tao?”

Bakit, hindi ka na makapigil?” pilyang sagot ni Sheryl.

Kinuha ni Julius ang bill. Dahil matagal dumating, nagpunta na siya sa counter para bayaran ito. Nag-takeout si Sheryl ng bread para sa parents niya. Tatawag pa sana siya kay Francine nang bigla siyang hinatak ni Julius sa kotse, hindi na makapigil.

Nagawa naman nila lahat ng pinlano ni Julius sa Tagaytay, hindi nga lang noong linggong iyon. Hindi sila nagmadali. Pinlano nila bawat trip, para special, at inunti-unti sa loob ng iba’t ibang weekend.

Sa loob ng Ferris Wheel nag-propose si Julius kay Sheryl in less than a year. Umikot ang mundo ni Sher, literally.

Nakilala nina Pauline, Francine, (at Georgia at Larissa through Skype) si Julius. Sila rin ang mga bridesmaids sa kasal.  Umuwi lahat ng kuya ni Sheryl sa Pilipinas para rito. Ang mga pamangkin nila at inaanak ang ring bearers at flower girls.

Si Alex ang Best Man. Maiyak-iyak at tawang-tawa ang mga bisita sa speech at toast niya.

Ang barkadang The Tux ang reception singers. Rock, pop, Pinoy, at 80’s music naman ang kinanta nila sa wedding reception. Pinakamaraming YouTube hits ang duet ng bagong kasal ng “Init sa Magdamag.” May surprise number din si Julius para kay Sheryl (“Blaze of Glory”), at si Sheryl para kay Julius (“Bituing Walang Ningning”). Iyak-tawa ulit ang audience.

Nagpa-cater si Julius sa kaklase niyang may-ari ng restaurant kung saan sila nag-first date. Nag-message ang Head Waiter sa video para sa bagong kasal, sabi niya, na-predict niyang love-at-first-sight ang nangyari sa dalawa. Malaking tip na naman ang inilaan ni Julius para sa kanya.

Tumira muna sila sa condo ni Julius, at patuloy na nagtrabaho si Sheryl.  Ngunit nung manganak na siya, pinili niyang maging full-time mom. Housewife, pero part-time singer.

Sina Julius at Sheryl, simple lang ang pangarap, simple rin lang ang buhay na hinarap.

Nawa ang kwento nila ay nakapagdulot ng saya sa inyong lahat.

The End.

(Tapos na talaga, wala nang aapila.)

Forty is the New Twenty


Image

I am not yet 40, but I am next in line in the family.

Last weekend, I inherited a whole bunch of party decorations from my sister. She bought them for my brother-in-law’s simple lunch celebration at their house, which is also my home for the year, at least. I watched him carefully trying to enjoy reaching the age where life supposedly began. I saw how he squirmed at the mere thought of turning 40. I was detached and even amused last week, and told him that he had a lot to be grateful for, and no reason to be depressed. I happily counted his blessings for him.

Then came The Great Turnover.  The party was over. The buntings, balloon weights, centerpieces, and banners were removed.  And my loving sister collected them all and gave them to me. I was stunned at the realization that I was next. I panicked. The sight of all all those shiny “40” signs blinded instead of dazzled me. I was clearly not ready. 

I still felt like I was 20, fresh out of college, idealistic, passionate, and full of hope. It was such a cliche to be afraid of a number, but there I was, taking stock of what was there and what was not, and I sank into a mini-depression.

I still had many dreams to fulfill, what if time was running out? Which should I discard, which should I pursue? I thought I was happy and on my way to a new life until the thought of where I would be next year on my birthday haunted me. 

True, by admitting my age in a blog post I am probably eliminating myself from the realm of possibilities with the men-seeking-younger-women out there. But who cares?  My friends are facing real health scares, with illnesses and ailments we only heard about from our parents before. It is time to face reality.

I often joke that my only goal is not to look my age. Thanks to my parents’ genes and Clinique, my skin does not have visible signs of aging yet. But I have more concerns than my face, and it is time to shift to second gear.

This chance I have to pursue my creative side, to pause and reflect, to focus on my health, to enjoy life outside my small world – I should embrace it with more passion. 

I should walk my talk and count my blessings. 

And take out my proverbial pen and paper and start writing!

Travel Bugged


“Exploring the outside world is the key to understanding your inner self.” – From the Bangkok Airways ad on CNN.

I have been to a lot of places recently, but laziness has prevented me from blogging about them. That, and the cheap thrill of posting status updates, check-ins, and photos on Facebook.

Just before leaving the Philippines last March to start my year of travel, I explored my country with friends and family. I went to Baguio, Bacolod, Boracay, Corregidor Island, Tagaytay, and Cavite. I also visited museums, watched plays, attended ballets and recitals and operas, and don’t even get me started on the going-away parties.

There were also little trips around Asia – to Bangkok, Singapore, and Malaysia. It was a great way to prepare me for even more adventures ahead.

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The Mother Ship in Singapore. No, I do not own an LV. Yet. But I enjoyed browsing them bags and wallets.

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This was a Catholic church in Bangkok. Love the roof detail.

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Around time last year, I celebrated my birthday with best friends in Bangkok. We went to the hotel venue of The Hangover and had one of the loveliest dinners ever.

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I extremely enjoyed my trip  to Penang, Malaysia with my family. It is a beautiful city  full of old world charm.

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But the Southeast Asian tour last year turned out to be a mere appetizer. It set me up for a year of more traveling. When I whipped out my passport last March 2013 then, there was no turning back. I had embraced my travel bug. My own version of “Eat. Pray. Love” had started.  

Mostly I have been doing the Eat part.  The Pray part is very active too.  My other blog takes care of that. The Love part, well, friends and family as always have been providing that. God has been so good in sending me people who open their doors for me. Yes my life currently feels like a movie.

First stop for 2013 is beloved Sydney, Australia.  I have been to some new places and some old places here.

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I have made new furry friends, too.

Sydney is a picturesque city.  It is alive even at night. Below, see Vivid Sydney.

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Some more feathered friends.

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High Mass at St. Mary’s Cathedral – a highlight. Must attend that again.

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At the Sydney Opera House

With my good friend Mitch before watching Idina Menzel’s concert at the Sydney Opera House.

The Sydney Symphony Orchestra

We were so close, I could read the titles off the Sydney Symphony Orchestra’s music sheets.

The Good Food and Wine Show

The wine glass I used for the Good Food and Wine Show.

The Tempus Two Vineyard

The beautiful vineyard at Tempus Two is pictured above. Because I love wine, chocolate, and cheese so much, the long weekend spent at Hunter Valley was also very memorable.

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I saw some kangaroos roaming the Bimbadgen Estate freely.

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I was also lucky enough to spend four days at Port Stephens last autumn. It was a relaxing holiday and the last bit of sun I felt before winter set in. The beach was beautiful.Image

I shopped for boats, too at the marina.

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Obviously, I have been enjoying myself immensely.  I will write separately about my trip to Canberra. Truly the pages of my journal should contain more words, but for now I will let these pictures speak.

If the airline ad quote above is to be believed,  I should be learning a lot about my inner self  too, after all this exploring that I have been doing. 🙂  Will see if that is the case. For now, I am content just to explore.

Feeding the Lorikeets




image, originally uploaded by galadriella2007.

A day that starts like this is going to be wonderful.

Writing from Down Under


There was a time when I wanted to live in a house with a huge kitchen, a sprawling garden, and a white bathroom.  The kitchen had to have an island for chopping and kneading.  The garden had to have lemon trees. And the bathroom had to have a tub.  Those were not possible when I was still in the Philippines.  At least, they did not seem to be.

Today I woke up and I realised that I AM living in such a house.  I am staying for a while with my sister and her family in Sydney, Australia.  The story of how I got here, I wrote about already in another blog.  Read about it here.

It is not easy for me to write about things that make me happy.  They sound corny, or too good to be true.  But even if you pinch me now you will see that all these is true.

I walk most days in disbelief.  I hear the sounds of different birds and actually see them from the lounge of this house, fluttering about from tree to beautiful tree.  This is a bird-watchers’ paradise.  I am not sure if they all get here, but I tried looking up the bird list in Lane Cove and saw this link.  There are about 109 species of birds spotted in the national park! Maybe I can spend part of my year identifying those birds.

And at night, I can get to know the stars of the southern hemisphere, because they are visible from the balcony, even the garden.  Perhaps I should go to the garden before autumn fully is upon us.  Besides, winter’s coming!

I have so many plans this year, but primarily I will slow down; yes, even from the planning and executing.

There ought to be more blogging and writing as well.  I need inspiration for that.  Hopefully the birds and the trees will work their magic.

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Golden Sands Resort, Penang, Malaysia


Golden Bay Sands, Penang, Malaysia

A relaxing resort by the beach, we visited it intending to swim but ran out of time as our shuttle had to take us back to town.

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First World vs. Third World Disaster Preparedness


It is a week of typhoons here in the Philippines. As pointed out by CNN meteorologist Ivan Cabrera in his Twitter account:

No rest for recovery. I’m tracking yet another dangerous #typhoon headed right for the #Philippines. Details on CNN next.

The Philippines was badly hit by typhoon Pedring earlier this week, resulting to the destruction of the seawall that led to the spillage of water from Manila Bay to Roxas Boulevard, all the way to Taft Avenue. Establishments, most of which have become landmarks in the picturesque tourist spot, have closed down due to floods and brownouts.

In other areas, water levels are rising, especially in the Bulacan province. People have been staying on the roofs of their houses for days, waiting to be rescued, and running out of food. And yet, this weekend, another typhoon, Quiel, is set to hit Luzon again.

It is time for us Filipinos to pack our emergency kits and Go Bags. Times like these, a typical list for Filipinos during typhoons include:

  1. Canned goods especially sardines and corned beef
  2. Rice and bread
  3. Candles
  4. Matches
  5. Flashlight with batteries
  6. Giant fan or pamaypay (preferably anahaw)
  7. Empty 5-gallon water container or any suitable flotation device
  8. Drinking water
  9. Transistor radio with batteries
  10. Cellphones – charged and loaded
  11. Jackets, raincoats, and life vests
  12. First aid kit

These are just the basics, but most households cannot even afford to store them. What a striking contrast to citizens of richer countries. Recently, a storm hit New York and even my Filipino friends on Facebook posted about how they were stocking up on essentials from the hardware store.

After typhoon Ondoy hit the Philippines in 2009, my sister from the US sent me her emergency kit. This may be typically stored in the emergency kits and Go Bags of most households in the US:

CALAMITY DISASTER KIT

  1. First Aid Kit
  2. Crank radio/ flashlight/ cell charger
  3. Flashlight
  4. Radio
  5. Simple Whistle
  6. All season blanket
  7. Emergency blanket
  8. Ponchos
  9. Fleece jacket
  10. UPF-50 shirt
  11. Long pants
  12. Hiking boots
  13. Waterproof jacket
  14. Umbrella
  15. Gasmask (N95)
  16. Waterproof matches
  17. Emergency candles
  18. Work gloves
  19. Camping knife
  20. Cooking pot
  21. Metal Spoon/Fork
  22. Can opener
  23. Small lysol spray
  24. Box cutter knife
  25. Plastic sheet
  26. Duct tape
  27. Mirror
  28. Tootbrush/toothpaste
  29. Comb
  30. Toilet Paper
  31. Personal Wipes
  32. 5-gallon water carrier
  33. Water purification tablets
  34. Water purification bottle
  35. Water purification system
  36. Scissors
  37. Notepad + Pen
  38. Playing cards
  39. Energy bars
  40. Bottled water
  41. Garbage bag 

My very practical sister, instead of sending us Spam in her balibayan boxes, sends us stuff from this list, school supplies, and other household items.

During the brownout caused by Pedring’s howling winds last Tuesday, my family was surrounded by these gadgets:

1. Eton Solar, Hand Crank Radio, Flashlight and Cell Phone Charger

The Eton-American Red Cross FR-150 Microlink is a Solar-Powered, Self-Powered AM/FM/Weatherband Portable Radio with Flashlight and Cell Phone Charger. It is designed to keep you in touch with the rest of the world, even when you are miles away from civilization. It has a high-quality AM/FM tuner, providing you with news, entertainment and public service announcements. It also integrates a NOAA Weather Band receiver that brings you weather forecasts, alerts and other emergency messages–information vital to backpackers and travelers. It has reliable flashlight and can also charge your cell phone. Cell phone charger supports over 2,000 different cell phone models. This can be a very good gift idea for Father’s day or some other special occasion.

2. Eton FR1000 Voicelink self-powered hand-crank radio

It combines 2 Way GMRS technology, analog tuner receives seven NOAA weather bands, AM, and FM signals to prepare you for any emergency situation. Eton FR1000 Voicelink also built in flashlight with six bright white LED, emergency siren alerts and cell phone charger.

Other Eton FR1000 Voicelink features include a 3.5mm headphone output, a microphone jack, an external speaker, a digital clock alarm/snooze function, an LCD display and a battery meter indicator.

3. Jeep Crank Flashlight with Compass

4. Coleman waterproof matches

5. All the batteries we will ever need, AA or AAA, rechargeable or disposable:

6. A conveniently-packaged fire extinguisher:

And so much more. We have ponchos, ropes, pocket knives, garbage bags, gloves, energy bars, and most of the things found on the list above. I know we are blessed to have these, as well as other gifts from our relatives abroad, to help us prepare for typhoons and other disasters.

Filipinos, however, are resourceful and resilient, as I posted here. We make do with what we have and always find the humor in everything. Those are two things I love about our people.

How about you, what are your lifesavers? Leave a comment and let’s make a more comprehensive list for Filipinos, and hope that we get them to each household.

Let’s pray that the typhoon not bring too much destruction this weekend.

The Passport Analogy


You will forgive me for being influenced in my writing by The Big Bang Theory, my current favorite show, in this and several posts around this time. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, I have an obsessive personality when it comes to TV shows (okay some friends would say, in everything). I can only absorb one show at a time, but how! I used to like Nodame, then I moved to The West Wing. Current obsession is TBBT (Congratulations, Jim Parsons, on your much-deserved Emmy!). TBBT! That sounds like I stuck out my tongue at all of ya.

Oh but enough babbling. The real point of my blog tonight is my recent discovery, hence the TBBT-inspired title of this post.

A couple of weeks ago, I could not locate my passport (again?! said my dear, dear friends). I refuse to say I “lost” it because I knew where I used it and put it last. It just was not in the Designated Drawer when I went looking for it. Mama wanted me to join her and Papa in their US visa application renewal, so I had to dig through my desk to find it.

On the second day of the Missing Passport, I started to panic. Maybe I left it in the airport during our last trip to Singapore. Maybe it fell off my hands while I was maneuvering my cellphone, carry-on, and trolley at the airport lobby. Maybe our cleaning lady hid it somewhere, not knowing how important it was. She had a tendency to do that. Once, I found my external hard drive’s case inside an old pencil case. Another time, she placed my Dolce and Gabanna Light Blue perfume bottle inside my Elizabeth Arden Green Tea’s box. Anything was possible to one who was panicking.

Mama pitched in. She helped me look behind my books, under my bed, and inside my drawers. I took out my broom and actually swept my bedroom floor, to Mama’s delight. The elusive passport was nowhere in sight.

I racked my brain, trying to remember exactly when I saw it last and where I could possibly have placed it. I wondered if the guys who installed  my new hand-me-down bed frame accidentally chose my most important ID to balance a wobbling stand somewhere.

Through it all, Mama kept on insisting that I look underneath the sliding stool that had a built-in nook into my study table. I told her I doubted it would be there. The truth was that I just found it too difficult to slide the stool after my new second-hand bed frame turned out to be considerably bigger, thus blocking the stool’s passageway. In order to check the area in question, I would have had to move the contents of my entire room. Hence, my refusal to believe that my passport would go there.

I told Mama I could not make it to the deadline for the Visa Reissuance Program, and proceeded to help her and Papa submit their online application. I was frustrated, certainly, but did not want to hold them back. I also took it as a “sign” that I was not meant to renew my US visa.

This all happened while we had some medical situations in the family that were causing me to lose my hair and my sleep. I was resigned to the fact that my one-year old passport was gone, and I could not travel until I got a new one. That made me want to cry. My friends were booking trips left and right. My family was coming up with travel plans for next year. And I was stuck, which was good for my bank account, but sad for my bucket list.

Finally, after my parents’ photos had been approved by the US website and we had finalized their visa applications, I went to my room and decided to check that place where I knew my passport should not be. I used a flashlight and beamed it under the stubborn chair.

It was there.

I saw the shiny gold letters on the cover of my electronic passport. I could not believe it. It was exactly where I doubted it would be!

I went to get a broom or a mop handle, and to tell Mama the news. She could have said “I told you so,” but she simply smiled and expressed her relief that her remaining single daughter could once again roam the world freely.

Armed with a long mop handle, I attempted to move the wheel of the stool that was blocking the passport. I started to sweat because the passport again disappeared. I must have pushed it farther instead of moving it closer. I had to drag my dresser table, bed, desk, and stool, but not completely, as it required more strength on my part to do that. Enough space was freed so I could poke around with my mop stick and retrieve my now crumpled passport. I kissed it, dirt and all.

Yes, it was there all along.

Yes, my mother was right.

Yes, I was blinded by the perceived blocks created by the new room setup I was faced with.

Yes, I could have spared myself two weeks of frantic searching if only I had looked at the little notebook’s hiding place immediately.

I should have, really. For it was directly underneath the Designated Drawer, which almost always got stuck with too much stuff that papers, envelopes, and other things had previously slid from the top of the drawer to that dark, dusty, place. So in a way, there was much circumstantial evidence to make that place suspect.

Perhaps in looking for something, I should not let obstacles hinder me from finding it.

Perhaps I should listen more to my mother.

Perhaps more things are waiting to be found that way.

Luigi the Rock Star




Luigi the Rock Star, originally uploaded by galadriella2007.

I just love this shot. When my 13-year old nephew played with his dad’s band, I was there with his mom and brother to witness the rising of a rock star.

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