Heart Wreck

Writing this directly through WordPress before the phrase and its meaning escapes me.

This is my heart version of a train wreck. I am watching an unavoidable collision knowing that it would lead to an absolute disaster. Yet I cannot help it. I may be able to stop it but surprisingly, I am the one driving the train.

The Merriam-Webster online dictionary states:

Definition of train wreck
1 : a violent and destructive crash involving a train
2 : an utter disaster or mess : a disastrous calamity or source of trouble

My life is on slow motion heart wreck. A friend says I could control the impact of the collision or avoid it altogether. But this heart has a mind of its own. It defies reason. It’s as if… it wants to implode.

As I watch the other train approaching, I wonder if the driver is aware of where his train is going, and its effect on me. Did his train go out of control too? Did he want to see where this was going also? Or was he distracted by other concerns, the life he was living outside of his train-driving existence?

I will not go completely mad. I saw this coming.