Pretend Lovers

I want you to unwrap me;
I want to see your eyes smile
As you discover everything that was too much, or too little, for the others
And say I am exciting, I am yours, I am worth it.

I don’t want you to know me;
I don’t want you to see my darkness, my pain, the monsters I hide.
Stop, don’t come any closer, don’t become one of them,
Let’s stay away from each other.

Be a stranger to me, as I am to you.
Be a mystery to me, as I wish I were to you.
Look at me as if I am a perfect, new me.
Don’t say anything. Don’t ruin it.

This time is not ours.
I borrow your scent, and drink from the thought of you
But this is me, and I cannot live off of this.
A voice in me relentlessly whispers, chastises, condemns.

I’ll quit while there is still some memory to smile about,
Before you tire of my whimpering,
Before my conscience starts winning,
Before my shine is dulled and I blow my cover.