I am home nursing a cold and am utterly bored. Because of this A(H1N1) flu scare, people don’t take anything at face value. Just so I don’t spread my virus, I decided to stay home as a precautionary measure. I don’t know how to relax, however.
Being home alone led me to pause and to think. Nothing earth-shaking or major. It’s just that it’s becoming increasingly evident to me that I have a wrong self-image.
You see, I took this Facebook quiz (how reliable is that?! Stay with me for a bit here), and the result is that I’m not spoiled at all. My friends expressed their objections. To them, I am a spoiled brat. But I answered the quiz truthfully. Either I am good at projecting an illusion, or I am in denial. Needless to say, the result got me thinking: why do my friends disagree with me? I don’t care what the world says, but my friends are supposed to know me.
Maybe I am more spoiled and pampered than I believe.
Another case in point. A very close friend of about six years told me today that I have a very serious personality. I said he must have been misled, because I have always been witty, and I don’t need alcohol to speak with poetry. Could he just have been teasing me, or did I hide my insane crazy creative side so well from him? Others would disagree. I have always been silly. I have a Category of Silly Posts on this blog. Ask my classmates. I’m not a serious person.
Or am I?
I saw parts of a forgettable film (Michael) on HBO, and the smoking archangel told his human companions, “Relax. It’s the only way to find love.”
Am I too relaxed – spoiled, or too serious – boring?
Does it matter what they think, or do I need to be myself more?
Hopefully the changes I will go through next month will help me relax more and be myself more.
This self-centered blog is brought to you by my cough syrup. Now back to get some sleep.